Leaving me humbled!

 The wind thrashed around all night. We could hear through the double panes of windows and doors and through the walls of the house, battering away all night, at what I could not see. It’s always pitch dark outside. The lights are so far in the distance, and while one can make out the outlines, you couldn’t see any effects of the wind on structures, because they are so far away.

This landscape is not unused to wind, in fact they seem to be old pals and partners. There’s evidence of this partnership everywhere the eye wanders. From the windswept grasses to the craggy chiseled shorelines, and the stone ruins of the many castles. 

In this rough landscape, how do the birds manage, I thought. Vain, vain man, or in this instance, woman. I had soaked some rice for the birds, and thought, softened it will be easier to eat and digest, and I could add it as a small treat for the birds. By 10:15 am, they were still not here. Usually they’re on cue after sunrise which has been hovering around 9:00 am. Never mind, I thought and put some out anyway. No takers. They did not show up at all. I did see them flying about further BBC afield, but none came near me. 

Ditto the sheep. They’re usually hanging around about the house and looking in now and then. Today, even they weren’t interested in us. They were further away, possibly at the furthest field. So far away, I’ve never seen them go such distance before. 

We had work to do, the car to load and head out, so I left it at that. No photos today. To be honest I was quite disappointed. I think they knew we were leaving. That’s how life goes, we’re all travelers. All animals have a strong sixth sense, that’s a fact of nature. It was a well deserved snub for me. How vain of me to think that I have to provide for them. My mother used to say God looks after the ants and why won’t he look after you? Another friend who was a little older to me, had once told me that I shouldn’t concern myself with the welfare of others as much as I do. That I take away from myself when I do. That I underestimate the grand design of the divine. That everyone is going through what they need to at any given time. And I am reminded of her words often. Old habits die hard. However, with age and maturity, and with some effort they can be reined in somewhat. 

So that’s what happened today, a well deserved humbling of my ego, if I that’s the right word? Definitely self importance. The audacity to think I was indispensable? A visitor to the homeland or others and already making assumptions, micromanaging, and all those words that are used for people who think…or people who assume, like I did. As if I know it all. 

In a way, it’s nice to know that I don’t. Don’t know it all. It’s not my responsibility. That’s liberating to know. For someone who is supposed to be at that place in life, where we look inwards, and have accumulated some wisdom, (which btw I have not) I should have know better. It was a good lesson. All my romanticizing of the birds and the sheep, was just that. The creatures of the wild are more pragmatic than us humans, though not without emotion. They know when to move on. From that I should learn a valuable lesson. Now I know, and for that I am grateful. Grateful for the experience and grateful for the realization. That’s a good thing to be thankful for! 

Approaching Orkney, and looking ahead to the journey.

Veenu Banga

12/27/21

10:08 pm. 

Two Nuns-1.

We will uphold you, we will light your way,

Till we drive out all negativity, we will stay, they say. 

They light my way, they ease my path,

They save me from self inflicted wrath

Like two headlights of a car, 

they shine their lights on my path.

Look forward, always the way ahead see

What’s gone cannot be corrected,

Erase it from memory.

They hold my hand, they opine

And in relentless thirst I long, I pine

For what is lost, what once was mine.

Mine in me, now eroded over time,

Trapped as I was in hostile climes.

We will uphold you, we will light your way,

Drive out the negative, bring positives to stay.

I have no first family, to fall back upon,

A girl adrift at sea; lonely, forlorn.

Parted from what was really mine,

They come and a light they shine.

We will uphold you we will light the way,

Drive out the negative, till positives are here to stay.

I know it in my heart, they are 

Well wishers of mine.

We will uphold you we will 

Restore your shine.

Just go ahead and show up,

Know clearly your path,

Don’t look back, forever forward

Steadfast, with clear intentions march. 

I heave my self up, it’s been far too long

That I’ve stood up for myself, not swayed

Seek not a crutch, no external touch

Dust off the past, pain cannot be allowed to stay.

We will uphold you, we will light a shine on your way,

Now you’re up and you’re strong,

We must carry on and go our way. 

Veenu Banga

Copyright July 16th 2021. 

 Sometimes I wish there was an App, which if you would point to a star the sky, will tell you which star it is. I think I must have seen Venus, it was so brilliant. I like to imagine it’s a spaceship, with people inside, coming to visit us- us as in all of humanity. They’re coming to Earth. How excited they must be! We have everything. Lots of water in our oceans and rivers, and streams. Good soil in large parts. We have the Amazon basin, and we have Hollywood (and Bollywood) and the internet, etc. Etc. Oh dear, if they only knew! We’re making a mess of this beautiful planet. 

However, I digress. We were out walking after dinner, and as always I was looking skywards and saw the moon. I love watching the moon, and the sky, especially at sunrise and set. Now my friends and family know to tell me if they see a beautiful sky. 

So here we were, just past nine. The sun had long gone to bed, being an early riser these days. However, the sky was still a beautiful blue hue. Oh, and I also wish there was an App, that if you pointed it to a color, it would tell you which color it was, what ones were predominantly in that and etc. Because the sky was the bluest I’ve seen at that time of night. And, yes, I took pictures, and yes, I will share them. Now, without further ado. Enjoy, as I did! 

Two nuns

They came into my life unexpectedly,

It seemed they were who I was searching for,

Only I did not know.

Like we were never strangers

And were together from long, long ago.

We will uphold you, we will light your way,

Words that were never spoken,

They turned into actions right away.

We will uphold you, we will light your way.

How does one describe, what seems an endless love,

What is it that ties us to some,

They’re my gift divine from up above.

We will uphold you, we will light the way.

When sadness overwhelms you,

We will drive it away.

 

Two nuns.

One.

Looks like a flower,

With a Heart of gold

And Grit of steel.

Two.

Wisdom as vast as the ocean,

Knowledge as high as sky,

Heart a cradle of compassion,

She is a savior of many lives.

Veenu Banga

July 7th, 2021

Muses, uses and excuses: Cherished Hours

Cherished Hours

I will not hurt you, like you, I too hurt,

I know it’s safe to respect that distance,

When I’m silent, I’m not being curt.

There are too many hearts, that are 

Intertwining in ours, so let us spend 

Separately, our most cherished hours.

Far too many social differences, of politics,

Religion, culture, status, et al.

In mine eyes, I do not wish to fall.

The effects of your contributions,

They percolate down and serve, without

Prejudice, judgement, or deserve. 

Your work has touched so many,

It enriches one to the core,

Sometimes I wish to be more deserving,

I wish I had met you before.

Veenu Banga

Copyright June 17th 2021

2:03pm.

Two Cars

 Two Cars

It was at the glow of dawn, 

A shy pink, blushing orange, and then

boldly, gold streaks adorn the sky,

The Energy is strong in these parts you said,

As we stood there, Just you and I.

As the first rays reached down to stir, the 

Sanctity of the white walls serene

In mute witness stood two cars alone,

Why does memory now revive that scene? 

Veenu Banga

Copyright June 17, 2021

1:24 am

PS. Another of my Sunflowers.

Minding Miss Meli: A vignette in time

Minding Miss Meli Miss Meli and I met in unusual circumstances. I still recall my trepidation when I first saw her. I remember retreating a step or two, not sure if I was entirely welcome in her presence. Oh! No, she was undoubtedly not forbearing, but then she was not very aggressive either. She was neither intimidating nor overly pushy. She was not ugly or scary looking. She was not even very big. In fact, she was a petite little Miss with large soulful eyes that sort of had looked away from me after that first fierce glance. I was glad for it then, but little did I know that later it was these very same eyes that would so successfully seduce me. Her striking personality asserted that she missed nothing and would fathom everything. Such was her confidence then. It is now almost three years since we met that very first time, and then we shared the same roof for nearly three weeks. After the initial encounter, we both settled into a kind of routine. We very soon shared a camaraderie that complemented our inter-dependence. Blokes like me get used to being looked at with a certain suspicion and serious doubt at our capability to fulfill any responsibility we may be entrusted with. The tradesmen’s clothes that should inspire confidence in those who hire and pay us do the exact opposite and look at some distrust now seem routine. At our first meeting, I believe that assumption triggered Miss Meli’s initial reaction upon my arrival on their doorstep that evening. It had come about that the Halls were going away for their annual vacation to Scotland, and Miss Meli did not take kindly to travel. Through mutual friends, they had found me, a willing and eager house sitter in need of short-term lodging, to look after their cats, a few fish, a rabbit, and a dog. There was Angus, the big, brown, and muscular tomcat, and his mate Goldie. She waited aside politely for Angus to finish eating first before lowering her mouth to the bowl. Angus signaled his satiation by a series of first soft and then loud meows before proceeding through the living room towards the doggy door that led him outdoors as he trotted away on a full stomach to pursue his favorite pastime of vagabonding. The kitchen was then Goldie’s domain, where she commanded the corner by the window, turning her head this way and that way, closing her eyes in concentrated relish, as she purposefully munched the very same food from the very same bowl that Angus had impatiently wolfed down. She was a light-footed feline who had made an art form of ignoring Angus when he deserved to be ignored. I could have sworn Goldie thought Angus went out drinking after dinner; such was her utter disdain at his hurried and dismal departure soon after he had eaten. On the other hand, she relished her dining experience and was very comfortable keeping herself home after dinner. If she was disappointed in him, she did not let on and just meandered around the house before jumping up onto the sofa and strategically placing herself in front of the T.V., her eyes half-closed, her thoughts known entirely to herself. Upon his return, Angus would quietly, but not cautiously, slink into the master bedroom, avoiding Miss Meli when he could, taking up residence for the night on the master’s side of the bed. Miss Meli observed everything but said nothing. Her eyes followed every movement and every sound in the house as she sat upon whichever chair or sofa it was her pleasure to do so at the time. No one was left with any doubt on who the true mistress was for the better part of the day. There was a certain voice to Miss Meli’s silence, and I think the creatures in the house knew that. Miss Meli’s expression said what she indeed must have been feeling because she often would slowly shake her head from side to side in hopelessness as she outwardly ignored their irregularities. Luckily the guinea pigs were being cared for by the Smiths across the street. Thank goodness for that. She had enough to deal with without those smelly critters around. The fish went round and round, up and down in their glass bowl, and only needed feeding every other day, so they were no problem. However, it was the Rabbit that was an entirely different kettle of fish! It was Rabbit Miss Meli deplored the most. He was the worst behaved in the absence of its young owner. Mrs. Hall had told me he ate lettuce very happily and enjoyed a big appetite. Sadly, I learned otherwise. He thrived basically on variety for his vegan habits. The lettuce was usually left untouched. The apples were finished one day, and only broccoli would be eaten the next day. Stale browned apples lay scattered around with hardly a nibble on them on another day. I was never sure what his Royal Fluffiness would favor the next day. Rabbit was fussy about not eating and selective in what he ate. He was not just eccentric, but he was downright queer. He either would not venture out of his pen in the garage or, if he was coaxed into doing so, was nowhere to be found when it was time to come back in. Or if he was found, he led us both, Miss Meli and I, to a merry dance before he would be caught and saved from becoming a feast for the foxes that roamed in the night. I had been told that Miss Meli was good with bringing him in, but I soon learned that option should only be considered my last resort. Miss Meli certainly did not suffer a fool. She spared no mercy when entrusted with rounding up Rabbit, so much so that I was genuinely concerned for his safety when I depended upon her help to do so. For some reason, though, around Miss Meli, Rabbit justified her actions with his obnoxious behavior. Miss Meli’s persistence and agility were remarkable. She could find him under the thickest hedge or behind the bushiest bushes, hiding around the compost bin, or smugly seated behind the large pots on the terrace. Miss Meli always found him, and she hustled him into the garage. It was a frequent and usually predictable game of I Spy. Sometimes I wondered who enjoyed the chase more, the hunter or the hunted. If Rabbit could speak, I would know. The leaves had begun to turn color again, and I was coming back to Canberra around the same time of year. When we had gone for walks, I had let Miss Meli lead me being new to the area, as together we had come upon many a beautiful garden. I had done most of the talking, being curious and she being a good listener, had respected my human need to communicate, acknowledging me always with appropriate and periodic nods of her wise head. It seems like yesterday, but I wondered how much Miss Meli would have changed in three years. She was an ageless beauty, I was sure of that. I thought of her fondly as I pulled into their driveway. Mrs. Hall was expecting me, and I saw the door open just as I was getting out of the car. Behind her was Miss Meli, her curiosity suddenly turned to recognition, and before I knew it, she was in my arms. A man’s best friend indeed. After all, a dog never forgets. Veenu Banga July 2006 Copyright